Here's the thing: She's right, Lohan's spread sucks. But...

So there's this woman named Hope Dworaczyk, a Playmate.



In fact a Playmate of the Year.



She's being quoted as saying of Lindsay Lohan's Playboy layout,

"I saw that spread ... and I was not impressed."

She added, "I just feel like if I would have known I was doing a Playboy shoot, I would have worked out more maybe."

Lohan's pics don't suck because she didn't "work out more maybe." Indeed the fact that she doesn't look like she's been sticking her finger down her throat for the past few months is one of the only things that doesn't suck about them.

Why do I think they sucked? I think because by doing most of them "as" Marilyn Monroe, Lohan takes away the idea of the nude human figure as a person uncovered. It's like my complaint about the '90s Madonna nudes--



--as opposed to the pre-fame ones.



I like the earlier Madonna pictures because in them, she looks like a real grown-up; in the later ones she looks fake and strangely less mature than in those taken when she was younger and couldn't know what life was going to bring her.

Similarly, Lohan doesn't look like she's showing us the woman that, for better or for worse, she has become. She looks like she's a little girl (and I mean that without the pedophiliac connotation) playing undress-up.

Oh, and just one other thing, Miss Dworaczyk: Once a woman has hit her teens, we should never be able to see her ribs again.