Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I *Knew* There Was a Reason Why I Found Them So Attractive

Kristen Stewart is the highest-paid actress in Hollywood

Behind her in the top five are to be found Cameron Diaz, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron.

Personally I find her interesting in a similar way to which I once found Megan Fox interesting.
Which is to say, there seems to be a disconnect between the headline and the fine print.

She may also bear a resemblance to Megan Fox because in still photos she looks great, but she can't really move.

I'm absolutely sure that's Megan Fox's problem--more so than ever after catching some of Transformers 2--(I'm afraid to even try to watch Jonah Hex, because I like the comic), but I haven't seen enough of Stewart yet to say.

(Stewart was, it must be admitted, pretty good in the Runaways movie)

(She also makes a darned good blonde)

I do, however, have the oddest feeling that she would look good in a Spider-Man costume...
Diaz, meanwhile, was my least-favorite "Angel."
And Bullock's barely even on my radar (sorry, Sandy).

Finding Jolie sexy always makes me feel common but it's undeniable she does have my favorite kind of woman's shape.

Not that Charlize Theron's shape is something that I loathe...
 In the bottom five (of the top 10), we find Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, Meryl Streep, Kristen Wiig, and Jennifer Aniston.
I suppose I'll go on the record here, if I haven't before, as saying that I really don't get the whole Julia Roberts...thing.

As for Sarah Jessica Parker, for my money the sexiest of the Sex & the City gals has always been, is, and will remain Kim Cattrall.
But if I had a daughter, I'd be much happier if she took Pixar's Eva (-a) as her heroine than any of those "ladies."

I have nothing to say about Meryl Streep (except that you're telling me she makes less than Parker?  That can't be right).
Kristen Wiig's (seen here with Emma Stone, who does not make a good blonde) presence on the list is a bit of a surprise, I mean I knew Bridesmaids had made her hot, but I didn't realize it had made her that hot.

And about Bridesmaids...I find that I like it a lot better in theory than I actually did onscreen.

I like the theory of, as Rotten Tomatoes put it,
a female-driven comedy that refuses to be boxed in
I've even written one or two in my time, and I'm glad, as an idea, that this one was so successful.

But when it comes to actually seeing it...well, let me put it this way:

I don't like movies where men go around shitting in the street and in sinks.  Imagine how I feel about one where women do.

I've thought she was good in other things, though, like Drew Barrymore's Whip It and even the MacGruber movie.  I also felt she was particularly hot in Paul, of all things.  Oh yes, and she's done some nice vocal work in animated films like How To Train Your Dragon.

I hope she's enjoying her success.  But Bridesmaids?  I just didn't feel it.  Sorry.
Finally, Jennifer Aniston.  I still maintain that somewhere within that cover girl there actually is an actress, she just may not always choose the best opportunities for proving that.

On a completely different level, yes of course she's a sexy, good-looking woman.

But she probably needs to hurry up and show her full-frontal naked body in a movie soon, before people stop wanting to see it.

Or it stops being something she wants to have people see.

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