Pimp your assets

Well, Nine is getting a low-to-middling score on ye olde Tomatometer, which I'm afraid means that it's just moved from "I'd like to see that movie" to "maybe I'll rent the DVD."

Ah but there's good news tonight, at least for those of us who like women. When a movie is in danger of falling short, 99 times out of 100, if there are photos of the lovely ladies of the cast in panties and corsets, well, you'd better believe they'll be released to the press sooner rather than later.

So.

Here we have images of Marion Cotillard,





Sophia Loren (as seen in the new movie, along with a legendary shot from 1963)

And "Fergie," with some unknown dancers.



Oh yeah, there's more, including a pictorial history of burlesque on movie screens.

Just more proof--as if any were needed--that Madonna is a gay Boy in a girl's body

There's a news item going around that Madonna has said she prefers high-fashion shoes to sex. I am reminded of a time when Boy George was quoted in the daily newspapers, around 1984, as preferring tea to sex.

Still though, the truth would out. When recording a series of his own well-known sayings to go with his display as a celebrity wax figure (again: 1984), George dutifully included this quote--but added,

"And if you believe that, you'll believe anything."

Bear in mind, this was a pre-heroin, pre-delightfully bitchy autobiography Boy George. He was still attempting to keep his more naive fans in the dark about the man-loving aspects of his nature.

That aspect of Madonna's nature has always been, shall we say, quite well-lit (and a good and healthy thing that it was, too).

Madonna prefers shoes to sex.

Right.

(Here, kitty kitty...)

Hello, ladies!

Ahem. I mean, Ok, friends, let's review a few things that we know. I am very pro-gay, and fully supportive of the rights of both gay men and women. I think they must be treated as full human beings; the sooner the better.

This should include the legal right to marry, "gay" books in "mainstream" bookstores, more and "broader" representation in film and television, the lifting of DADT, etc. It's the only right thing to do, and the fact that it's taking us so long is an embarrassment.

As one or two of you also know, a few years ago I created a couple of gay women characters named Annabel and Keitha for a play/movie/prequel/short novel which I have yet to see produced of published. I love them dearly.

And before any of that, I've rarely been one of those guys who celebrate the idea of lesbian sex for the reason that...well, for the reason that most straight guys, apparently, do.

Also, as I want this blog in general to show, I genuinely appreciate women.

Now. All this is in reaction to having just come face-to-faces with this image of Rooney Mara and Emmy Rossum, and hoping to establish my bona fides as a pro-gay, women-loving-in-a-not--always-exploitative sense kind of fellow.

(Defensive? I'm not defensive! You're the one who's being defensive...)

Before...



(Mara is an actress whose face and name were unknown to me but she seems to be up-and-coming. Rossum's face and name are more familiar to me than her work. Before I decided on Liza Weil as my minds-eye casting for Annabel, I toyed with the idea of Rossum.)

(The image is from the film Dare, in which Rossum stars and Mara plays a supporting role, I think--I haven't seen the film yet. It got almost no release, but I wanted to see it even before I saw this picture. It's gotten good reviews).

More retro photos

Great paragraphs in literature

From Tom Davis' new memoir:

A few years later, postcoitus, the same girl asked me, "Remember that time in high school when you got my shirt off? Why didn't you fuck me?"

Page 21.



PS: Obviously, I have no way of knowing whether or not the girl in question resembled Katharine Ross or Diana Rigg. But it took place around the time that they were both big, so...

PPS: Later in the book, Davis does mention attending a play in London in which Rigg appeared naked. The lucky bastard.

Pretty in Pink is one thing, but this is ridiculous.

Reizvoll oder sexistisch?

This is just a day for women whose talent I stick up for in the face of most evidence to disappoint me

Dear Tara Reid:

We have already seen your bare breasts. We have seen them before the botched plastic surgery,

and we have seen them after the botched plastic surgery.

If this is true, and you're only going topless in the new Playboy magazine...

...I'm not sure what you think it will do.

You know dear, there's a reason why it's called plastic surgery.

People said you were a living train wreck, I said, I'd like to drive that train...

Sigh...dear Courtney:

I think my vast reading audience will back me up when I say I've given you the benefit of the doubt many times in the past.

You said Britney Spears had been molested by her own father. I said I couldn't immediately dismiss the idea. You rambled incoherently on the David Letterman show. I said I understood you.

That sort of thing.

But there comes a time, Courtney my love, when even I must draw the line.

I can believe that it must have been deeply troubling and painful for you to lose custody of your daughter.

I can even believe that it broke your heart.

What I can't believe, is that you would then take all this trouble and pain and heartbreak and use it to talk trash about your own fucking kid on Facebook.

What a great way to signal that yours is the best, most stable influence to have around as your daughter spends her final months of legal childhood.

I love you, Courtney, I support you, I believe in you. I want to see you wow the hipsters once again. You symbolize something to me even though I'm not always sure what.

I think you're fucked up, but I also think you're a strong woman.

I hope you'll get help.

I hope you're not crazy.

Yow.

Bringing sexy back

Jesus.

Sigh...oh, Courtney...

Courtney Love has lost legal control of her daughter. Now, Frances Bean is 17 and almost all grown-up, so this guardianship (she's been placed in the care of her grandmother and aunt) will only last less than a year, until she turns 18 in August.

But still: Sigh...oh, Courtney...

Trying to think of something new

...to say about how nice-lookin' Anne Hathaway is. But to be honest, it isn't going well.

I mean, what else is there to say once you have said that a woman is reason enough to believe in god, and your queen?

The best I've come up with so far is a pretty lame joke on "Button, button, who's got the button"--see, cause the dress she's wearing has these prominent buttons.

Therefore, the joke is implying that I would like to unbutton said dress, and watch it drop to the floor. Which of course I would.

But you all know that, and you know what else? It isn't funny. (The first person who says "That's never stopped you before" gets punched in the face).

Aw, heck.

Anne Hathaway is really, really nice-lookin.

As if in memories from a lovely dream, starring:

Liv



Miranda



Angelina








And Natalie.

Two novelty pin-ups

"Novelty," because it's something different to Natalie Portman and the other usual suspects)

One: What's Australian for VA VA VOOM?



(This is an Australian actress named Jessica Marais whose work is unknown to me...)

Two: A hot chick that time forgot:



(This is Joanne Dru, a movie star of the '40s and '50s who unlike some of her contemporaries--Jane Wyman, Ingrid Bergman, Barbara Stanwyck, Olivia de Havilland-does not seem to have held on to her popularity)

This made me laugh when I needed it...

You'd be surprised to see what Velma from Scooby-Doo was hiding under that baggy sweater

Christmas is coming...

Man, I'm really slipping

Not only is one of my blogs only number two in the "Natalie Portman annoying" Googles, but they've plummeted all the way down to number six for "Kim Kardashian bimbo."
I realize how disappointed in me you must be, and I can only promise to try to do better.

suh-weet!

Yes!

Another lesson in video editing, as well as music mixing...and yeah, I know there's a typo in Lady GaGa's stage name up there, it's not my fault...

Clearly I must take steps to correct this

My other blog has moved down to number two in the "natalie portman annoying" Googles.

Adrianne Curry really needs to get a job or something

I mean, I think it's safe to say that when you have time to pose for downshirt photos of yourself with a little rubber Darth Vader statue on your tits and post them to your "Twitter" account......you have too much time on your hands.