In breathless anticipation of the Golden Globes this weekend,
E! Online is running one of those polls where one female celeb "fights" another for best-dressed status, then the winners of those fight each other until only one is left.
In this case, the contestants are all being judged on how they looked at
last year's Golden Globes.
As you'll see, I allowed other factors to influence me as well, but they're not all what you may be thinking of. And some of these are illustrated with pictures from other sources, just 'cos I'm like that.
Round One:
I knew this was going to be tough when I saw that the first choice is between
Anne Hathaway and Kate Winslet, two of the best-looking women in the world.
In the poll I went with Anne, but only because I thought that in those particular dresses, she looked a little better than Kate.
(No offense, my darling!
Kate's had a longer career to show what a great actress she is, but our Annie's gaining on her.)
Blake Lively vs. January Jones was a little easier.
Both seem to have very nice, curvy bodies (and I appreciate a plunging neckline as much as the next hetero man), but Jones was on
Huff. Tie-Breaker!
For
Angelina Jolie vs. Penelope Cruz I had to go with Angelina. Not that Cruz isn't a beautiful woman in her own right...
...but come
on.
Katy Perry vs. Beyonce was another easy one. Both are curvy (in Katy's case, especially so for a white girl)
...but Perry has absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever.
(Seriously. Like, I don't know if she need corrective lenses, but it sure looks like her vision is blurred when she picks out clothes. Actually I'm not sure if she has no fashion sense, or just
the worst. Speaking of which...)
Taylor, honey? No. Just
no, sweetie.
This brings me to
Taylor Swift vs. Miley Cyrus. Well, I don't really care to listen to either of them sing. And in one of their cases, if I judge how they're dressed the way I judge some of these others it'd be pervy.
That said, of these particular outfits, I had to go with Miley.
Eva Longoria Parker vs. Drew Barrymore. Hoo boy. This was actually the toughest one yet. They both have great, curvy bodies and both looked at least as good in these dresses as I imagine--or in Barrymore's case, know--they do out of them.
But I went with Drew. Not because I've actually seen her naked body-
but simply because I like more of her body of
work that I have seen.
Megan Fox vs. Carrie Underwood. Again, both beautiful, both good bodies, but as with Angelina vs. Penelope, when you get right down to it, it's not even a contest.
Amy Adams vs. Natalie Portman. Another tricky one. I went with Adams because I think Portman probably looks better nude (better than she herself does in clothes, I mean).
And because I've long thought Portman was a particularly
silly person.
This brings us to Round Two.
Anne vs. 
January. What do
you think? Put another way: The difference is black, and white.
BTW: Let the record show that I have made it this deep into this entry without making the obligatory "globes = boobs" joke.
--oh darn, there it is.
Angelina vs. Beyonce. No offense, Angelina, but Beyonce has what I think is known in the vernacular as
back.
Miley vs. Drew. I confess, I voted for the one it would be
legal for me to fuck if I could (and/or wanted to).
Also, you gotta love that hair.
Megan vs. Amy. Toughest of the second round. Went with Amy, because she has more to offer than just being beautiful from head-to-toe.
Semi-Finals:
Anne vs. Beyonce. Oh boy. I hate myself. If this were talent I was judging, it'd be Anne (not that Beyonce isn't talented, I just think Anne is more so).
But since I'm supposed to be taking my cues from how they looked in the gowns that they wore to previous years' Globes...I'm giving it to Beyonce.
(
Forgive me, Princess Penelope!)
Drew vs. Amy. This one was easier. Sorry Amy, but you made it this far...
Finals:
Beyonce vs. Drew. As with the Megan/Amy fight above, I went with the one I feel has the most to offer besides sex appeal. Again, both do have more to offer, but one has
more more, if you see what I mean, and in this case, it's Drew.
So apparently, from these choices, I think that Drew Barrymore, Beyonce and Anne Hathaway were the best-dressed women at the Globes last year, in that order.
Popular vote agreed with me on Beyonce at the time of votingt, but thinks Amy Adams and Eva Longoria Parker should fill the first and third spots, respectively.
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