The Bond girls of my puberty, who are, by definition, the hottest

Maryam d'Abo, The Living Daylights, 1987

The Octopussy girls, 1983







Tanya Roberts and Grace Jones, A View To A Kill, 1985

And Kim Basinger, Never Say Never Again, 1983

If I remember rightly, those are what are known as hot legs

And now, a completely gratuitous* shot of Halle Berry showing most of her tits and making a sexy face

*For those of you who believe there can ever really be such a thing, of course.

Apparently, Aubrey Plaza wishes to test my "not tawdry" theory of a few days ago

She's posed for something called "Nylon Magazine Guys."

I dunno, it's just not working for me.

Mathilda May, naked vampire babe alien from Lifeforce

Barbara Bach's Bond girl name should have been "Satin Noble"...

"free as a bird"

The ABC's of T and A

A is, or course, for Anne, whom there's no one finer than.

 B is for Banks, for whom I must give thanks.

C is for Cruz, and the lucky who she screws.

D is for Denise, and for her golden fleece.

E is for Emma, whose hair should be henna.
















.

And F is for Faris, who should be plaster, in Paris
G is for Green, her body is supreme.

H is for Hayek, of lust so archaic.

I is for rIhanna, eating a banana.

J is for Jennifer, a 13-year-old's elater.















K is for Kelly...and ideas with petroleum jelly .

L is for Laura, the one I adore-a.

M is for Mary...I'd stay with her on a skerry.

N is for KristeN...um...something about a pistoN.

O is for Olivia.  We hope (one day) she'll play Godiva.


P is for Perry, whose modesty's scary.

Q is for BouQet, those probably aren't her legs, but hey!

R is for Rosario, in an erotic scenario.

S is for Scarlett, whose bod should be starlit

T is for Theron, the hottest of sirens.

U is for Upton, a nun with some gumption!

V is for Veragara, she's like a damn Ferrari.

And W is for Williams, a Venus among millions.

And X is for seXual wizardry, as exemplified here by Kimberly.

Y is for AubreY, who is, unfortunately, not tawdry.

 Z is for Zeta-Jones, who I admit, I'd like to bone. Now you know my ABCs, next time, won't you...sing...with me?

Some mornings, a man just needs to *think*...

...about Anne Hathaway's hair softly cascading down her shoulders.

Stay well, Tara. You frustrate me so much...

Tara Reid says she's 'good and healthy' after hospitalization in France The 36-year-old fell ill with the sudden inflammation earlier in the week during a trip to Nice, France...

...I *must* want to date you.. Or at the very least, watch you do toe-touching exercises.

I don't think I've EVER not liked a picture of Holly Hunter.

...and this one won't be starting any trends.

Hey, hey, hey, BiMs on the way

...and for your sake I hope you don't get that reference...

Mary...

Mother...

...of...

...god!

Kate Winslet...my favorite color...my favorite color...Kate Winslet

Sorry, Tara Reid, but it's not, I say it's just not...

...not going to...

Not going to...

Not going to work...

...oh hell, yes it is.  I'll do anything you want.  Name your price.

No expectation or hope, but I admit, a couple of fantasies

 Tuesday evening I saw one of the sexiest women I have ever seen in my life, certainly in person, and maybe including any actress or pop singer I can think of.  And then I tell you, I spent much longer than I probably should have trying to think if there was any way of expressing this to her:  Just how very good merely looking at, or gazing upon her had made me feel.  

I imagined parking the car and approaching her in as non-threatening a way as possible and saying "Miss, may I say with no fear of offending you, you are one of the sexiest women I have ever seen in my life." 

With no expectation or hope* beyond that, save that she be flattered; I could accept her thanks and move on having made someone's day.  But I couldn't think of a way to do that without coming off all stalker-y.  Also I lost track of her.

I was driving to a store when I saw her walking on the sidewalk by the road. Frustratingly, I can see in my mind's eye an actress her face (or at least my memory of same) reminds me of.  


But I cannot think of her name (she's not a big star).  Nor can I bring to mind something in which I saw her from which I might look her up.  I'm hoping it'll come to me.  I think she was in some movie of the '80s (gasp).

Anyway, this girl was black (lighter-skinned) with short-hacked, straightened hair.  


I feel like she may have had freckles...do black women, even lighter skinned, ever freckle?


(quick search...apparently, yes they do.  Though it may be rare.)

But the first thing I noticed about her was, yes, her shape from behind. 


In my defense, I was moving up from behind her at the time.  


She was wearing blue, light denim-colored shorts (I obviously don't know whether or not they really were denim). 

Not cut so high that her ass was hanging out and scaring the children, nor as tight as a Wonder Woman costume, they looked snug, but comfortable.  

I am human and hetero, I was pleased.  It was a nice ass.  It was, if I may, a black woman's ass.

I don't think I'd have willingly taken my eyes off it, if it were up to me. As I passed her by I of course checked her out from the front and side, inasmuch as I could while still thinking about my driving.  

About five years ago, I devoted a post to the opinion that one could appreciate beautiful women without recourse merely to earthy; plain speech.  


This whole blog is in many ways an expression of that idea.  And now I find myself with kind of a wrongheaded feeling:

I could tell you that she looked like a goddess (specifically of the Raquel-Welch-as-Lust-variety).  Or I could just say that she had big, fantastic tits.  Both are true.  

The tits were supported by what looked to me--again, this is based only upon as many glances as I could steal--like an under-wire bra; under a red top (the top was not low-cut).  

I said aloud, "Good lord!"

She looked like--and here I'm clearly slipping into imagination of what she might be like which means, what I'd like her to be like--someone who was not only blessed with a good body but the ability to feel comfortable in and enjoy it. 

Not like someone who feels the neurotic need either to cover up their sexuality or to trade almost solely upon it for approval.  


Anyway, I wanted to write about it, I think first just to record it, but also to see if I could let you--my vast reading audience--know what I found so sexy about her without making it sound like, just, she made me want to masturbate or "nice booty, that girl."


Did I succeed?

*No expectation or hope, but I admit, a couple of fantasies.  If you'd seen her, you'd understand.  I'm talking Denise-Richards-10-years-ago hot.

If she had turned out to be a prostitute--which I have no reason to think she would've--I'd have had to consider it.  If it had turned out she was a slut--frankly I have even less reason to think she would've--I would've felt comfortable going off with her into the bushes.  Stop looking at me askance, it happens.  Not to me, but it happens.